It All Makes Perfect Sense.

Snowshoe Run With Laura at a local snowshoe race

It’s been 5 months, and a lot of water has gone under the bridge, so to speak. So many things have happened in my life: good, bad, and indifferent. So many times I have thought about writing. Considered writing about my crappy December/January where I was so “mental,” achy, and exhausted, sleeping poorly, struggling just to exercise two days in a row (and I’m not even talking running). 

I thought about writing about the snowshoe running group, Snowshoe Run With Laura, that I started in December and what a joy it was to introduce others to such a fun, yet tough sport that I dearly love. About seeing the look of joy and wonder on their faces. I considered writing about how, in February, I ran Hagg Lake 50k for the third year in a row, nearly “off the couch” this time, as one friend put it. I was not sure until two weeks prior that I’d even be able to do it. How I decided to forget about all the other racers that day and just run my own pace, as if no one else was around and I was on an adventure all my own. How I happy to meet my goal of just finishing before the cut-off and being proud of that, even though I was the last person to finish.

Elowah Falls on the Gorge Waterfalls course

A month later I considered writing after running the Gorge Waterfalls 50k. It was an amazing course and amazing day, surrounded by equally amazing people. After only a month of smart training after Hagg, I felt like I was on my way back. About how, the morning before Gorge 50k, having participated remotely in the 1^st Annual Gerry Lindren 3-Miler, I ran a fast-for-me three miles. About how I was spurred on by thoughts of Gerry and his mission the entire time. How surprised and thrilled I was that I could still do that. How I never run for 2 days before a race because I want everything to remain a mystery until race morning. About how concerned I was that running hard the day before Gorge would negatively affect my race. It didn’t. In fact, it gave me more confidence.

About how, less than a week after the Gorge 50k, I had a 7+ minute PR on a 13-mile, rocky trail run with plenty of climbing and descending. The run had not started out great, but soon enough I felt great and the run just flowed from me. The really great thing is I wasn’t trying to make a PR happen, it just did.

I could have written about any or all of these things in the last 5 months, but truth be told, I really don’t enjoy writing. It takes something really special for me to write about it. Tonight all it took was a simple dream, which in reality, probably didn’t last much more than the blink of an eye.

With the glorious Deschutes River the day of my dream

I often work things out in my dreams. Earlier this week it was anxiety over my new trail shoes. A couple days later, it was my sore arms after a tough workout. Tonight it was the the trail itself, which finally made sense. It made sense why today’s run, at only 15 miles and <1,000 feet of gain, felt nearly as tough as my last 50k with 6x as much gain. Even the appearance in my dream of a bicycle, lying on its side, seemingly floating in, but also engulfed by, the rushing river made sense. I awoke at 2:20am, finally knowing that it all makes sense, but not necessarily knowing why.

I lay in bed awake, running through my dream in my mind, trying to ingrain it into my memory so I would not forget it when I woke for the day. Alas, I knew that if I went back to sleep, I would forget, so here I am at 2:30am typing at my computer so I will remember, that yes, even though I don’t necessarily know why, somehow it all makes perfect sense.